no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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