This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
