i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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