I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
