i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just found puke in my bra..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
