Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
