she kept yelling 'call me bella'
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
