Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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