My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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