do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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