Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
