I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
