Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
