quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
