There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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