take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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