i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
