Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Terrible idea I love it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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