wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
What a dumb baby whore.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
