You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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