sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
