Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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