yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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