people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
