I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
