I love black thongs
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
