You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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