waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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