Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
