I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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