"it" just moved
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
