Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
