Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
