my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
