dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
