I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
