he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
