so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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