I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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