I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
