if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
