singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You're like the curious george of whores
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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