I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
