Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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