is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
