I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
