laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Randomize
