I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
