And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
