I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
