Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
