why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
