It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
