Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
