She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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