his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
