Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
