His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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