I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
