omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
